I don’t think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love.
A local woman walked into her garden and was surprised to find Tony Abbott had jumped the fence and was digging up a tree she’d recently planted.
"Can’t have it taking precious carbon from the atmosphere for free. That’d be socialism. Think of the economy if trees got their way." He mumbled as he continued to ruin her garden. "I’m going to turn this into some nice delicious coal."